Six Reasons to NOT Choose Me as Your Therapist

A client once told me something so profound! She gave me permission to share it, so here it is: Finding a therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes. You may need to try a few before you find the perfect fit. That’s so true!



I’m a Military Veteran

I really didn’t appreciate what that meant until I retired. I don’t like whining, appreciate hard work, admire selfless service, and have a naturally protective nature.  If you can’t relate, I might rub you the wrong way. πŸ™‚


I Want to Know You

There’s what’s going on with you, then there’s you. I really want to know about you, that’s why I ask. If you want to show a facade, you may get annoyed when I ask instead about you. πŸ™‚


Vroom! Vroom!

I’m into motorcycles cars and trucks. I also enjoy skydiving, 4-wheeling, and scuba diving. Ironically playing Call of Duty with the family is also a thing. And who can beat watching Amazing Race with my daughters??!! We can go through a whole season in one holiday weekend. πŸ™‚

The things, people, and experiences that make you who are have value. Is there a need to apologize for that?  


I’m Kind of Quiet

The part of me that loves excitement is contrasted by the side that is freaking calm. I’ve had a gun pulled on me before. Almost got blown up once. I slid across the interstate in a motorcycle accident. I was in a helicopter that almost flew into a buoy. One thing was constant in all of that – my calm demeanor. Oh I have emotions! No need to worry about that. They just aren’t on my sleeve.

If you need a therapist who cries when you cry and pats your shoulder and says “there there baby,” then you don’t want to schedule with me. Nor would you if you want someone who’ll be shocked by the things you say. 


I Love Sweets

Man! The candy dish in my office has mints, Twix, Reeses, Hersheys, and all kinds of goodness. I hope you’re not offended by chocolate!


I Like Different Cultures

Maybe you can tell by my office decor. πŸ™‚  I appreciate what each culture brings to the world and love learning more about each one. We are different. We are special. We are unique, and we don’t need to fit the square stereotype.

It applies to culture and everything else. This is what I embrace.  

You need to find the right psychologist for you. And who freaking cares if it isn’t me. I hope this helps you to consider your values and and those of the therapist you connect with!


My thoughts on referrals  for trauma work

EMDR is great. Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) is great. Progressive Exposure therapy (PE) is great. Stress Innoculation Therapy (SIT) is great. Narrative Therapy is great.

Though you may be looking to refer a client to a therapist who uses a specific protocol, it might be helpful to consult with someone versed in more than one treatment method. It could save you peace of mind, and the client months of effort and frustration.

I think sometimes we get hooked on a method and try to apply that to everyone irrespective of individual differences. Some people can’t handle or benefit from certain methods and it helps to identify and choose the most appropriate one near the start of trauma treatment.

I think what therapists do is similar to what prescribers do in choosing medications. If we just go off of symptoms and our habitual prescribing preferences, without taking into consideration other factors, we can easily miss the boat.

“If we just go off of symptoms and our habitual prescribing preferences… we can easily miss the boat.”